Author: YLK Mentors

  • Help is so close …

    Help is so close…

    When you are going through periods of stress, struggle or confusion, facing challenges and obstacles in your life, it is easy to forget you are not alone.  We often witness people pushing through these periods hoping to keep going and pick themselves up on the other side…but what if there’s another way?

    We are passionate about sharing how to embrace the challenges and overcome the obstacles that are presented in life.  After all, you can’t change what has happened but you can change how you feel about it. There are many different disciplines in life that help you change how you are affected by the circumstances around you and help you move forward.

     

    You will never follow your own inner voice until you clear up the doubts in your mind.
    ― Roy T. Bennett

     

    What if Reiki can show you the way?  Reiki is a very deep yet gentle way to help yourself, building your connection with yourself and your surroundings. It gives an awareness to you and your intuition (your inner knowing / gut feeling), enabling you to connect to the intention of what you are truly doing and gain clarity.

     

    When you learn Reiki and use its principles you are helping both yourself and the people around you.  Reiki enables you to really see, and know yourself – how we as humans work and function. By understanding yourself, you will be able to understand other people easily and recognise the conscious and unconscious factors in people’s actions.  This is part of the key to helping you change how you feel about those things that are happening around you.

     

    The Reiki discipline also gives you simple, easy to follow methods to allow you to remain calm, focused and clear in any situation.  Using the Reiki discipline you will gain a solid foundation and understanding from which to view your life.  Your confusion and anxiety levels reduce and you will face each day with a renewed vitality.

     

    Reiki is many things to many different people.  When we teach Reiki we allow our students the space to reach their own understanding and definition of Reiki…instead we are clear that it is not ‘woo woo’…a form of mind control…a cult or religious belief!  A comment we hear time and time again is the principles themselves, the way YLK Mentors teach and share the guidance of Reiki, is so LOGICAL… many are surprised by this and love the simplicity.  It is true in life that we really can over complicate the simplest of things.  Helping yourself is simple, showing up for yourself is simple, the guidance is there…its the discipline and commitment of creating a new habit that will define how much Reiki can help you.

     

                              Let yourself be your own guide and begin your own journey with Reiki.

     

    Reiki is taught in different levels: Reiki One, Reiki Two, Advanced and Masters.  The purpose for Reiki One is to connect to the self and help yourself build a solid foundation.  Reiki Two is about helping others and developing your own connection further (some complete this level to become a practitioner others purely for their own understanding).  If you are interested in learning Reiki for yourself or you would like to experience Reiki used as a tool to help you please drop us a line HERE, we’d love to hear from you!

  • Finally found myself….

    …I was here all along!

    When you truly know yourself, you will understand what it is you want.

     

    What does it mean to know yourself? People will interpret this in different ways…however a commonly held view is knowing yourself means to know your strengths, weaknesses, values, beliefs and what is important to you.

    Have you ever stopped to ask yourself who you truly are!?

    Did you get anywhere with that question or are you just more confused?

    Believe us when we say we truly understand, it can be very confusing/daunting. You are not alone. Many people tell us they haven’t found themselves yet…

    It is far easier than you ‘THINK’!

    Your language plays an important role in this. If you have worked with us or read much of our material you will know this is a subject very close to our hearts…our language has the ability to open up the doors or trap us where we are. What is the general conversation that you often have with yourself?

    For example, if you are often going around having the conversation you don’t know where you are, you don’t know what you are doing, what you are meant to be doing, or you are unclear of where you are going then you will be constantly seeking things/stories to validate that and keep yourself in the pattern.

    The law of attraction states that whatever you focus on, think about, read about, and talk about intensely, you’re going to attract more of into your life  – Jack Canfield

     

    You can improve your life by improving the thoughts that you dwell upon and the actions that you take. Focus is key.

    Let’s look at focus.

    Have you ever tried playing the game ‘yellow lorry’ with your children. Where you teach them on a journey to spot every yellow moving vehicle. The color is a less common one but the more your children look for them the more they will spot them, then they will always see them.  What we focus on is what we get.

    There are a few little things that you can do to start knowing who you really are, let’s simplify it.

    Take a piece of paper and write down some of the following:

    • Are you male or female?
    • Do you have brothers or sisters?
    • Are you an mother or father, aunt or uncle, grandma or grandad?
    • Write down your interests and hobbies

    Yes… it is as simple as this, this is a part of who you are but it doesn’t define you

    Now let’s look at the next bit…

    Write down your values and beliefs (between 10 and 20)

    These are the ideas and concepts from which we view ourselves and the world around us.  Examples may include:

    Values –  The things in our lives that are important to us – e.g. being charitable, friendly, honest, loyal, happiness, love, family.

    Beliefs are the lens through which we view our lives, often held as true without any factual evidence.  They can come from our own experiences in life, our parents, religion, media & marketing etc.  E.g. life is hard, people always take advantage of me, I am not good enough, its not right to make mistakes, I don’t deserve…, I am……, I can’t…..because……,

    Now look at your list and number them in order of the most important to you.  Start at 1 being the most important.

    The first three are the ones influencing you and your life the most.  How are they serving you? Do they empower or dis-empower you? Encouraging you to grow or keeping you stuck?

    Choose something to change. Flip it to humour or a positive outlook. Discipline is key.  Work on it constantly as this will create a new habit.

     

     

  • Inside Out

    …the big declutter!

    Are your cupboards and wardrobes reflecting how you feel inside?

    Do you feel like you have lost a little bit of direction, that things are piling up on top of you? Or do you feel that spring has already kick started your process of decluttering?

    That great feeling most of us experience when the days start getting lighter is actually a biological response. In the darker days of winter our pineal gland produces higher levels of melatonin, the hormone responsible for inducing sleepiness. As we begin to experience more daylight the production of melatonin is reduced and we literally begin to wake up! Energy levels naturally increase, our drive to exercise and make healthier choices reignite and we have a desire to shed the old and make room for the new…yes, it’s time to do the big declutter!

    Taking charge of those areas you hide from others, the ones which haven’t seen daylight for a while, the piles of paperwork, those things that might be useful “one day”, the unworn clothes, the tasks hidden at the bottom of your in tray or even your digital clutter has been proven to have a positive effect on your focus, mood, performance and well-being.

    We recognise it can sometimes be difficult to find the motivation and time to take charge of the clutter that is not only on the outside of us but also on the inside.

     

    The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.
    ― Joshua Becker

     

    Yes believe it or not this includes laziness, stubborness, excuses and the big sticks you’ve been using to hit you!

    Baby steps…

    Action will help you to make the changes needed.  Clearing your physical space gives you the sense of clarity and well-being from which you can tackle the larger obstacles in your life. You can make a change.   One of the crazy ideas and thoughts our head gives us when we see this picture of all our mess is that you cannot move it.  Well of course you can’t… not in one go! BUT guess what you can in small bites, small chunks and small steps.  If you struggle enlist a few trusted people to help you, you will be amazed the difference it can make in your life.

    Here’s a starting point:

    Make a list of everything that needs to be done

    Now divide the list into three sections – the sections are ‘Now’, ‘Soon’ and ‘Later’

    Place only five things to be done now in the ‘Now’ List, then divide the rest by importance into the ‘Soon’ and ‘Later’

    Make it a priority to complete the five tasks in the ‘Now’ List

    When you have completed ALL the five in the ‘Now’ List ONLY then can you move another five in from the ‘Soon’ List

    It’s really important to give yourself an understanding and consideration for where you are or for the things that have happened.  When you understand something it can change your life. Clutter come from trauma and negative experiences in our life, be kind to you.

    Marie Kondo in a growing favourite book of ours “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organising”, highlights the importance of decluttering holding a focus on what you would like to keep rather than on what you can get rid of (this mindset has been proven scientifically to induce unhappiness). With this in mind, another good tip when deciding what to keep is to ask yourself two key questions:
    1. Does it spark joy?
    2. Does it provide a service?

    If the answer is no then donate or discard of the items in the most suitable way.

     

     

     

  • Tips for helping you feel good

    You are important…

    To help yourself feel better learn to take time out for you… learn to be happy… 🙂

     

     

     

     

     

  • Three Important Rules for Parenting Teenagers

    Often parents feel overwhelmed with regards to parenting teenagers for many different reasons.  Having been teenagers ourselves and/or parenting our own teenagers we can all relate.  Teenagers are growing adults wanting to find their own way through life. I am sure if you look back to your teen years they may have been difficult, hard or very good. But the most important understanding needed here is your past is not the life of your teenagers.

     

     

     

    Your child is now growing up – give them things to do around the house as this will help them to develop responsibility and a sense of contribution (hopefully you would have already been doing this since they were younger and if not its time to start). Never TELL your teenager to do things, you don’t like being told what to do and they won’t either.  Sit down with them and explain you would like them to contribute within the household, as this will help you all.  You can write a list of all the things that need doing then allow them to choose two or three things.  Make sure you thank them and ask them how often they feel the item they have chosen needs to be done.  Listen to their suggestion – if you need to help them understand it needs to be done more then explain by saying “I feel that may need to be done more, can you see why?”

     Tip – Please do not do the item they have done after them, it may not be done as well as you would, but its important to acknowledge what they are doing. I remember someone telling me that they were at a family gathering and there were many guests all helping out in the kitchen. She asked if help was needed and she was given the carrots to peel and chop. She was very conscious of how to do them as she was unsure how the lady of the house wanted them to be done. She had wondered if she should ask but felt too nervous. Then on completing the task she handed the carrots over and, yes you guessed it, the host was not happy at the way they were done. This memory stayed with her for a long time and in many ways knocked her own confidence, especially when it came to asking people when she was unsure about something. Yes I know its only carrots…

    Tip – Say thank you

    Tip –  If your child isn’t doing what they have chosen then sit down with them and ask them “why” – talk about it even if they choose something different.

    Tip – Remember…choose your words wisely.

     

    When your teenager is frustrated, angry, irritated and moody there will always be a reason why. Learn to really listen to your child – listening is having eye contact and time with them as this will help them to know you are there for them. They may not always want to tell you what is going on with them and there are different approaches to help your teenager. When you develop time to be with them they will generally see that you are there. Explain to them that you can’t help them while they are being the way they are but you do want to help. Do not raise your voice or become frustrated with them. Arguments won’t get any of you anywhere and will only add to the tensions within the family. You may feel that what your teenager is explaining isn’t relevant or right but to them it is… this is why it’s important to learn skills of listening to your child/teen. Listening requires you to connect and have empathy.  This in turn will help your children to develop these skills.

     Tip – Be patient with yourself and your teenager, it takes time to build the connection and skill.

     Tip –  If your child is moody teach them to breathe as you cannot help while they feel that way.

     Tip – Remember, eye contact is crucial as it shows that you are listening.  For all children and especially teenagers it is important to feel listened to.

     Tip – Do not overcompensate – it will come across as patronising and can be too much. Remember discipline is key…firm but fair.

     

    Discipline is important if you have never given discipline when your children were younger you may have a task on your hands. Discipline is important as it gives security to your children just as boundaries do.

    Discipline is important to build respect.  When you have issues placing discipline this can be because of your own childhood issues and restrictions. Often you can find yourself saying ‘I want to give my child everything I didn’t have’, or another common one is ‘I don’t want my child/children to have what I had’.

    Divorce and separation can often affect disciplines and boundaries, in any of these you will find yourself over compensating in some form.  You may also find that you have put a discipline in place and you don’t follow through because you believe it to be easier just for some peace and quiet.

    Tip – When you are starting to introduce discipline it is like anything else – you will need patience and calmness.

    Tip – Sit down with yourself and write down changes you can make and why.  If you have a partner encourage them to do the same. If you and your partner are not coming from the same place this will create an opportunity for your teenager to use you both against each other. After all they are growing up and they want it their way. Agree the approach you want to put in place and how you will tackle it.  Be sure you or you and your partner stick to it.

    Tip – Teenagers are not young children, sit them around the table using eye contact and talk with them, explaining to them why you want them to listen and what you want from them. They may not be okay with what you are asking but this is the moment you need to explain why and what will happen if not.

    Tip – Be disciplined yourself, don’t set a high expectation that is impossible to keep. Don’t change your mind half way through. Be constant in what you say and do. Praise your children, they are learning as you are.

  • Finding your way through the mist of confusion…A Journey to Empowerment

    We often hear people talk about Life being for Living – it can be the simplest thing to do and yet so difficult sometimes. People tell us they never know which way to turn or what it is that they actually need to truly live their lives.

    In an age where we are blessed to have so many choices, options and information at our fingertips for some this can cause confusion.  If you lack clarity and direction in your own life the plethora of choices can be overwhelming.  Social media for example may give a platform for you to easily compare your life against others.  Comparing what you have and what you don’t have will cause you to be against yourself.  Human beings only seek and absorb the evidence that supports the story they are telling themselves. By constantly comparing yourself to others you are  compounding the negative story you are telling yourself…for example ‘I am not enough’, ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I will only be happy when…’ etc.

    Learn to be happy now… in the now… look at what you have and be truly thankful for it.  Practice appreciation.

    One of the fundamental things that is often forgotten is that happiness, passion and desires are not necessarily what other people do, say or think .  When you have self awareness and self understanding you will be your own guide to what will make you feel happy and successful – contented within your life.

    When you truly know yourself, you will understand what it is you want

     

    Tips to help you get started…

    1. Take positive, fulfilling time out for you…smile and appreciate the time you give for yourself
    2. Make a journal and write down every week a few things that you feel grateful for
    3. Make a map of where you are in yourself, and if you use negative words please change them…your first map be honest, then do another map with more positive words.

    Remember you have choices to how you view your life…