Category: Featured Articles

  • CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER 2023

    LOVE TO ALL

    As we come to the end of the year – which is just over a month away! – we start to reflect on the year that we have had, but most importantly, the year that is yet to come. What opportunities will wait in our future? What will be over the horizon? Well, we hope from this newsletter that there will be plenty of events and moments of connection to look forward to that will give you clarity and direction.

    First of all, we have a new Reiki Morning in December, allowing you to cast your eye into the future year, set your own goals with intention, and how we can use Reiki to achieve those goals. This is an in person and online event, open to everyone including non-Reiki students.

    Reiki Morning – Set your Intentions for the Coming Year – In person

    December 16 @ 9:45 am – 12:45 pm £45.00

    All documents needed for the Reiki Morning will be given to you on the day

    There are only a few places left so be quick to book your place now!

     

    Attend our upcoming Reiki Morning, open to everyone including non-Reiki students. Using your intention helps you to connect and to gain clarity, especially in times of uncertainty. Some people find it really difficult to connect to their intuition, and this Reiki morning will help you to realise the benefits of discipline and how easy it really is to connect to yourself. This isn’t about setting new year’s resolutions; this is more about working with a form of energy that helps you reconnect to yourself and see what you really want in your life. We will guide you through setting an intention for your goals and milestones, and how you will plan, execute your plan, and discover your strengths and weaknesses to make the path ahead a little clearer.

     

    Reiki Morning – Set your Intentions for the  Year – Virtual Online

    February 18th  @ 9:30 am – 12:30 pm £45.00

    Check out these tips for coping with the darker winter months as one year comes to a close and another blooms anew.

     For some people, it is incredibly normal to feel low during the winter months. The weather starts to become gloomier with clouds and rain and cold, and the sun sets a lot sooner in the day when many people are still at work. Many try to fight this feeling, because they simply do not like it. And we often use language like ‘I feel bad’, ‘It’s not right that I feel like this’, ‘It’s wrong’. If we change some of the language round and say ‘I know I feel sad because its dark and cold, but …’. The word ‘but’ moves what you just said and moves your focus away from the negative feeling, and it gives you an opportunity to move it towards something you are looking forward to or something that you have achieved. It’s more about accepting that we don’t have to feel perfect and on top of the world all the time.

     

    If you are a procrastinator or feel like you can’t get out of bed sometimes, have you noticed how you might tell yourself off, beat yourself up about it and tell yourself how bad you are for not getting things done and being productive? Again, it’s more about accepting sometimes that we don’t always get things done or we don’t always get out of bed. Winter is the month for rest, reserving your energy, and hibernating. The greatest tip to help yourself in this is acceptance first and, in those moments, when you feel you aren’t getting on with something or not getting out of bed, don’t think about it just do. We are very beautiful human beings who sometimes want to tell ourselves off for being bad when we probably haven’t done anything wrong. The best thing is to take an action straight away even if you just got up and brushed your teeth. It’s all about changing focus. It’s not going to be easy to get things done when all you can think about is how bad you are for not getting them done sooner.

     

    We also have some exciting news about The Coven, a gathering created by Rachel Petheram from Catkin Flowers spanning the entirety of the year. January 2024 – November 2024

     

    I’ve been invited to collaborate with Rachel from Catkin Flowers…

     

    Rachel, who is also an Ambassador of YLK Mentors, has designed The Coven for those who wish to take the next step in their life – to step into your own personal power and ground yourself in moments of transformation and change. The gathering consists of 6 sessions a year, in collaboration with experts whose work is centred around supporting and empowering women.

    The gathering of these sessions will focus on creating a supportive community; a space created for guidance, building confidence, and solidifying the connection you have with yourself.

    It is a wonderful way to not only connect with nature, but also with ourselves. This event in 6 sessions spans the entirety of the year, with its debut event happening next year.

    As a Mentor, Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Reiki Master, Yvette Karan will be joining The Coven and collaborating with Rachel as one of the visiting experts for two of the sessions.

    The Coven – Reconnecting with your Confidence & Power by Rachel from Catkin Flowers

     

     

    Special Spotlight – Ruth Karan | Ambassador and Tarot Reader

    Sometimes as we go through life, we can feel confused and lost, especially as we come to the end of a year and winter begins. The darker months can make us feel low and it is understandable that the world and all that is going on in it starts to close around us, and our direction in life starts to become a question. With the new year coming, and new possibilities with new directions, clarity can offer a helping hand. If you want to give a gift to somebody during the giving season, or buy something just for yourself, follow the link in the header to receive a written tarot reading by Ruth Karan. These are email readings, written in the style of a letter, to help you treasure the guidance within as you take your next steps forward.

     

    Ruth Karan is an ambassador of YLK Mentors, a Writer, Historian, Reiki Master, and Tarot Reader. Her insights and abilities have enabled a lot of our clients to gain clarity and understanding of their journey. Her passion for writing shows through all her readings and talents that she has.

     

    Special Spotlight – Katie Pande | Ambassador and Herbalist

    Sometimes hormones can play up, the winter bug or cold is passed around, and sometimes it sticks and makes us feel under the weather. Whatever the case, Katie can help with her herbs and potions – don’t worry, we are only pulling your leg – and her special talents as a herbalist to get you through the long winter nights and freezing early mornings. You don’t have to put up with the random symptoms your body is displaying or the continuous onslaught of cold and flu symptoms. Contact Katie for an appointment to find out how she can help you during this time.

     

    Herbal medicine has a unique ability to stimulate the body’s natural healing potential rather than simply mask unpleasant symptoms; it encourages the body to heal itself, bringing back a sense of whole-body balance and harmony, connecting you to your true self. To maximise and capture the real essence and healing potential of each plant, Katie uses organic herbal extracts where possible.

     

    Katie Pande is a member of the National Institute of Medical Herbalists (NIMH) and a Bach Flower Registered Practitioner (BFRP). Her treatments often use a combination of both herbal and flower remedies but they can also be used as separate treatments. Herbal medicine is very physical in its treatment potential, often used to deal with clear physical symptoms and can positively support every body system. The Bach flower remedies work on a purely emotional level, targeting specific emotional states such as trauma or anxiety.

     

     Special Spotlight – Hattie Rees | Ambassador and Nutritionist

    Have you ever noticed sometimes in the winter months, all you want to do is to eat warm and soothing foods. It can be quite normal. It’s all about that hibernation and wanting to gather energy to keep us warm and cozy. We have been on the theme of telling ourselves off in this newsletter – a lot of people do this with food. If you create an understanding with yourself about food, it can help you tremendously. If you would like to find out more about what help Hattie can offer you, click on the link above.

     

    Hattie Rees is a Registered Associate Nutritionist with a First-class Bachelor (BSc) degree in Nutrition from the University of Leeds. She is also qualified as a Reiki practitioner.   She believes in a ‘whole-self’ approach to treatment using a combination of nutritional science and holistic teachings to improve your relationship with you, leading to an overall improved health and nutrition. Hattie works very intuitively – it’s not about shoulds or shouldn’t’s. It’s more about working intuitively with eating habits. Sometimes its about moving the mindset and not necessarily what we eat.

     

    Take a step, just for a moment, and breathe. Then turn around, look at everything that you have done within the year, give thanks, and appreciation to everything that you have done. Smile, be happy, appreciate this moment. Give yourself a hug and a well done.

     

    Love Yvette.

     

     

  • A Thought for You All

    2021 brings a new start to a new year…with a new year people often see new opportunities, new adventures and, of course, new challenges! Some of you may have made new year resolutions and they may be the very thing that keeps you going. Whatever you do, be kind to yourself and not just in these strange times but always.

     

    For some, the start of this year may have felt a little unexpected. For many, it would not have been a surprise.  Managing the reality of where we are with where we would like to be can be challenging, especially when some of the circumstances may be out of our control. The how’s and the when’s may rely on factors outside of your influence – your external world.  Being able to plan in the uncertainty we are facing at the moment is undoubtedly challenging. This is when tapping into your intuition, your inner knowing, can provide you with a great sense of calm, clarity, and understanding.

    When you take the time to connect to yourself, whether it’s 5 minutes or 30, you drown out the outside world for a moment. Putting down deadlines, expectations, worries, emotions, and simply focusing on the present moment, allows you the chance to re-connect. It is in this moment of silence, a moment of stillness, when you regain your balance and focus. Ask a simple question such as “what matters most?” to help you. It is in this stillness that you are more likely to hear and pay attention to the answers. Practice this regularly and your intuitive side will grow and kick in naturally.

    “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Albert Einstein

    You may ‘connect’ in many ways…for example you may go for a run, sit in meditation, spend time with a friend (albeit virtually at the moment!), do the housework, or spend time in the garden. To connect can mean different things to each of us and the method we use to put down the stresses, worries, and emotions of our day, and listen to our own self, will be different. It is about finding what allows you to quieten those well practised thoughts and reactions. For us, if you have followed our work for sometime (or even just a short time!), you will know we advocate the use of your breath. Those small moments of taking time to breathe fully, wholly and consciously really do add up!

    If you would like to deepen your connection and develop a greater sense of knowing (intuition), then Reiki is a wonderful way to do this, whether this is receiving a reiki treatment or learning how to harness the reiki energy yourself (see our upcoming events).  Reiki can receive a bad press, being seen as woo-woo or a bit “airy fairy”, but the team at YLK Mentors are here to challenge that view and show you it really is quite logical.

    Whatever way you choose to connect to you, we are encouraging you today to recognise when emotions are getting the better of you, when stress levels are rising or anxiety is creeping in and hit that pause button. Allow yourself to change the course of that thought process and connect…

    With love, the Team at YLK Mentors x

     

  • Gratitude #youlovekindness

    Gratitude is the theme of our post, we are extremely grateful for the love and support of our colleagues and clients so we start with a heartfelt thank you. Find a little about our Ambassadors along with a tip on how to kickstart the New Year with purpose and focus….We know many of you are looking forward to waving 2020 goodbye it has undoubtedly brought about new challenges.  Yet in our experience with those challenges have come many lessons and reasons to be grateful.  It’s always important to recognise the challenges, acknowledge any pain or hardship relative to your own experience before letting this go and moving to gratitude.

     

    #YouLoveKindness

    We are sending a heart felt thank you to Kerry Burridge and our Ambassadors Rachel and Hattie for all their support in helping you maintain and develop a positive approach to your challenges, health and wellbeing this year. We would also like to thank all of our clients, current and old, for your continued support. We look forward to continuing to work with.

     

    The love of food and healthy intuitive eating with Hattie :- 

    Christmas is a time of cheer and joy and food. But in 2020, it’s been tough for many…Hattie has a natural way to help you learn to trust in your mind and your body. Get in touch with her, to help you begin that journey with trust in food.

    This year, we have introduced Hattie Rees as an Ambassador of YLK Mentors in our virtual online Reiki sessions. Hattie is a Nutritionist using the ‘whole-self’ approach to treatment, combining nutritional science with holistic teachings. She is here to guide you in every aspect of your relationship with food, health and wellbeing. If you feel you have strayed away from what you feel is healthy, or you are unsure about your relationship with food, talk to Hattie about her Intuitive Eating. After completing her degree in Nutrition, Hattie completed her training with the London Centre of Intuitive Eating. This process includes mechanisms of coping with disordered eating habits, as well as rediscovering what hunger/fullness cues mean, ultimately leading to a lifestyle with no nutritional restrictions. Take that step and have a chat with Hattie to better fulfil your eating patterns. Look out for our Workshop with Hattie in the coming year…

    Click here to find out more about Hattie’s approach and Intuitive Eating

     

    Acknowledging trust and focus

    We would like to thank Kerry Burridge for all her hard work this year despite the Pandemic. She has shown that if you put your mind  to it, you can achieve anything that you want to. We were talking to Kerry, late last year, about the reasons why people struggle with swimming and why they feel they can’t swim or why their kids can’t swim. The reason, as Kerry said, was lack of trust – lack of trust in themselves and their capabilities. She also explained to us, that it is about the story that people tell themselves. Kerry’s way of manoeuvring beyond this is not giving them a chance to think about it…to hesitate…to second guess their capabilities. Action, without thought, can bring out the best in people. Kerry has continued her own massage and bodywork business throughout this crazy year while continuing to teach people how to swim and overcome their fear of water.

    With the sponsorship of YLK Mentors, Kerry has built up a new business – KB Swim and Coaching. With her determination and hard work, Kerry has managed to stay afloat, so to speak, and grow beyond what she ever expected.

     

     

    Time to look after you in the best way you can…

    Rachel from Catkin flowers work throughout this year has been all about love and care– she has some great exciting new work that she will be offering next year – she often reminds us of the importance of keeping occupied and nurturing our mental and emotional wellbeing amongst the parade of self-isolation, lockdowns, and social distancing. Connecting ourselves back to nature and the mental harmony we can find in letting go of stressful pressures is something that Rachel promotes through her work. We are sure that the trips you have managed to make outside of your house during this year have been crucial to your mental state, especially when it is focused on getting some fresh air and new surroundings. Find out more about Rachel here.

     

    Time for Reflection…thoughts from Yvette & Lindsey 

    Sometimes life can be so busy going from one task to the next you may feel you are constantly ticking the next item off the list without pausing to recognise the successes, fails, value and fulfilment each item may bring.  Before you know it a whole year has passed and you may be left wondering what you achieved!  No matter if you are well-practised in the skill of positive reflection or not, taking time to reflect on your whole year can have a great impact on what’s to come in 2021…

    If you haven’t done this already perhaps schedule a little time in your diary (between the 26th and 31st December can work well) to sit quietly and consider the following questions:

    • What has this year taught me?
    • What has worked well for me….and what hasn’t? And (perhaps most importantly) at what cost?
    • What changes would I like to make?
    • What would I like to achieve in 2021?

    Answering these questions honestly and constructively can really help you see what is important to you, what is fulfilling you, your beliefs, values and passion along with what you could let go of. Take time to reflect and step into 2021 with clarity, purpose and focus. We will be thinking and sending good thoughts out to you all. Love Yvette & Lindsey.

  • YLK Ambassador – Rachel Petheram of Catkin – Florist, Tutor, lover of “Woo” and all round beautiful soul

    YLK Ambassador – Rachel Petheram of Catkin – Florist, Tutor, lover of “Woo” and all round beautiful soul

    Taking a moment to reflect in the Power of Nature and its benefits

    It is easy to become overwhelmed with the stress and worry of the situation we find ourselves in and it may be that we are spending a lot of time in our heads. As our normal routines are disrupted it is easy for our mind to become full of worry – lots of ‘what ifs’ and ‘I shoulds’ and ‘I feel bad because…..’

    There are many ways that we can overcome this – meditation, breathing properly and exercise, to name a few, and these are really important to weave into your routine. Sometimes though the feeling of being overwhelmed means that we are overcome with lethargy and can’t find the energy to do even the most simple things. This is not unusual – our sleep cycles may be disrupted, we may feel on high alert all the time, adjusting to ‘a new normal’ is energy sapping. We then find that we don’t have the energy to do the things that make us feel better so we continue to worry, which saps our energy further and so it’s a vicious cycle.

    One very simple thing you can do to take you out of your head for a while and help you to feel more grounded is to connect with nature. The idea that spending time in nature can make you feel better is intuitive – we all know it and feel it. Researchers are amassing a body of evidence, proving what we all know to be true: nature is good for us and has both long and short term mental and physical health benefits. Previous research in environmental psychology has shown that a natural environment has a positive effect on well-being through restoration from stress and attentional fatigue. It has been termed ‘Vitamin G’ where G stands for the green space around us. It could also stand for grounding because being in nature does exactly that – it takes us out of our heads and helps us to feel more balanced.

     

    Blog post – 8

    We all know the benefits of gardening: good exercise, having something to nurture and tend, the myriad benefits of soil. But many people don’t have access to a garden, or have the time to spend in it, and many don’t have access to beautiful surroundings outside, but ‘nature’ doesn’t have to be a garden or a national park – it is just being in contact with plants. A 2008 study found that hospital patients who had flowers in their room felt less anxious. They were also more positive about their recovery and needed less post-operative care than patients without plants. In 2005 a team of researchers explored the link between flowers and life satisfaction. The results show that flowers are a natural and beneficial moderator of moods. From an energetic perspective this makes total sense, flowers are living entities whose unique vibratory pattern (i.e. energy) can be deeply healing.

    I have been working with flowers for 18 years and it is very clear to me that working with flowers has a profound effect on people – over and above the pure joy that creating luscious arrangements can bring. Flowers have different ‘personalities’, each one has its own energetic signature and we may be drawn to different flowers at different times depending on our own needs.

    A simple exercise to tune in to the healing properties of flowers and to take you out of your head for a while would be to choose a flower – it can simply be a flower picked from a verge, or a flower bought in a supermarket, but make sure it is something that you are drawn to. Take that flower and hold it in your hand. Or if it’s growing somewhere and you can’t pick it then just look at the flower where it is growing. If you have no access to flowers then just looking at a picture of one would also help. Sit and really look at it. Look at it as if it’s the first time you’ve ever seen a flower. Discover what it actually looks like. Notice the shape of the petals, notice the texture – is it velvety, is it satiny? Really look at the colour – is it one colour, is it many colours? Does it have a fragrance? Does it remind you of anything, does it take you anywhere? When thoughts and emotions come up, notice them, and then gently redirect your attention to the flower in front of you. Let the flower fill up the whole of your focus for a while. This simple practice will make you feel calmer, will relax your body and practiced regularly can help us to connect to our true selves. It will help to bring you out of your head and back into your body and hopefully bring you some calmness, clarity and focus so you can take further steps to enhance your wellbeing.

    Rachel is an Artisan florist, flower grower and teacher. Creating abundant arrangements that reflect the seasons. Using nature intuitively to restore and renew.  She runs courses and personal training in all things floral, guiding you in your health and wellbeing as well as building your floral knowledge and skills.

    You can reach Rachel via insta @catkinflowers, facebook @CatkinEnglishFlowers and on the www @ www.catkinflowers.com.  Stay tuned here for more from Rachel in the coming months!

    With love from

    the Team

    @YLKMentors

  • Guest – Lisa Brown on our Choices: “One Choice that we do have is how we respond to the situation we find ourselves in…”

    Guest – Lisa Brown on our Choices: “One Choice that we do have is how we respond to the situation we find ourselves in…”

    Introducing Guest Blogger, Lisa Brown – Health & Fitness Guru

    Exercising Regularly supports your immune system and releases those feel-good endorphins promoting your mental and emotional wellbeing.  Having admired Lisa and her work for years we are so pleased we are able to share her wisdom with you here.

    Lisa Brown – Director of Innervate Health & Fitness, Owner of Coogee Gym, elite personal trainer. English by birth, Lisa studied Physical Education at the prestigious Exeter University. An innate wanderlust and teaching degree led her to Hong Kong, a seven year stint in an International School in the Middle East and eventually to her beloved Sydney, Australia. Here after a couple of years as Head of Primary PE and Sports at MLC School she followed her lifelong passion for exercise and jumped headfirst into the business of fitness. The first year she travelled around the parks and beaches of Sydney as a mobile outdoor PT. But soon she formed her company Innervate. At it’s peak the business employed 20 personal trainers servicing on average 200 sessions per week. Lisa is an educator, mentor and coach but her real jam is face-to-face PT. Her work is varied and ranges from turning a 75-year-old woman onto the physical and mental advantages of strength training to literally helping a client walk and thrive again after a horrific motorbike accident. The joy of helping people move without pain in strong and healthy bodies is the stuff that gets Lisa up at 4.55am every morning, that and a double shot cappuccino and Leroy Brown her black Labrador.

     

    Layla one of my online personal training clients shared the following last week in our WhatsApp community group chat:

    “I read today ‘it is inevitable that isolation will change your body …it is your choice whether that is for the better or the worse’ – we are choosing option A” Layla Lockie 

    It struck me how powerful this was.  It can feel like many of our choices have been taken away.  Our governments are dictating what we are allowed to do, who we are allowed to see, where we go or not go.  We know this is essential for our health and the health of our World but the daily choices we are allowed to make have taken a massive nosedive.  One choice that we do have is how we respond to the situation we find ourselves in.  My gym is situated in a place called Coogee Beach in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, Australia.  It is a small community space where everyone regardless of age, gender, experience, injury, level of fitness or background can get their groove on and achieve things that they never thought possible.  My jam is strength and like my bio says: I love to empower people to move better without pain in strong, kick-ass, healthy bodies.  I was observing what was happening around the World regarding COVID-19 and chatting to friends in the UK.  I knew that soon things would start to change here in Australia too and that my gym would be forced to close.  So I made a choice.  I chose to move my whole business online.  I thought I would have more time for this transition but things esculated pretty quickly and as the government made the call to close all gyms on the Sunday, I am proud to say that by the evening we were ready to rock and look after our community online the very next day.  A new way of working, communication and spreading my message of health, strength and fitness was born, overnight, just like that.  I am grateful that I had the opportunity to make this choice.  For me exercise, healthy nutrition, quality sleep, controlling my stress is now a conditioned and habitual way of living but for many in my community it is not, throw a Worldwide Pandemic in the mix and you have a perfect excuse to disregard all of the above.  Here is where you have the opportunity to choose.  My client Layla made that choice.  She refers only to the physical aspect in her WhatsApp post but her choice to invest in her health and fitness has positive effects that reach way further than her body.  She has empowered herself to take control of the situation that she finds herself in.  She has chosen to look after herself by moving her body in a nourishing way thus boosting her immune system, improving her bone and muscle health, increasing her energy levels, promoting feel-good chemicals in her brain that can help improve her mood and enhance her self esteem.  She made the choice.  I take my role as a health practitioner and the leader of my community extremely seriously and I feel that now, more than ever people like me need to step up and be beacons of light and motivate and inspire others that struggle to make choices that will help them to thrive not just survive through these challenging times.  None of us are perfect; we don’t always make the right choices at the right time.  We are living through days that our generation has never experienced or could ever have imagined experiencing.  But here we are.  The many choices that we took for granted are not at our disposal at this time but we always have choices that we are in control of.

    …’it is inevitable that isolation will change your body …it is your choice whether that is for the better or the worse’ – we are choosing option A”  Layla Lockie 

    It is your choice. What do you choose?

    Want to join our tribe? I am doing everything I can to look after as many people as possible regarding their health and fitness amongst the situation we are in.  I am so pumped to now be working with people from many different countries.  Would you like to jump in on our online workouts?

    I will provide you with five workouts a week delivered to your inbox, all with simple video explanations and descriptions.  All fitness levels are catered for.  Cost is per household and so the whole family can jump in.  WhatsApp group to keep community and each other accountable.  No equipment needed apart from an easily available thin resistance band.  I’m using tempo and paused methods for intensity instead of load.  It’s intelligent progressive overload programming.  There will be two strength and conditioning sessions (Monday and Wednesday’s sessions), Tuesday is a short interval session with core and glutes, Thursday is a recovery, yin, flow session and Friday is a ‘Big Bang’ circuit style workout.  This does not mean that you have to do these workouts on these specific days or that you have to perform all of them.  These sessions are all about you and your lifestyle and your schedule.  So make them work for you.  If you would like to know more flick me an email at lisa.brown@innervate.net.au

    If you would like to follow me on my socials please check me out on insta:
    https://www.instagram.com/lisaatinnervate/
    https://www.instagram.com/coogeegym/  

  • Inside Out

    …the big declutter!

    Are your cupboards and wardrobes reflecting how you feel inside?

    Do you feel like you have lost a little bit of direction, that things are piling up on top of you? Or do you feel that spring has already kick started your process of decluttering?

    That great feeling most of us experience when the days start getting lighter is actually a biological response. In the darker days of winter our pineal gland produces higher levels of melatonin, the hormone responsible for inducing sleepiness. As we begin to experience more daylight the production of melatonin is reduced and we literally begin to wake up! Energy levels naturally increase, our drive to exercise and make healthier choices reignite and we have a desire to shed the old and make room for the new…yes, it’s time to do the big declutter!

    Taking charge of those areas you hide from others, the ones which haven’t seen daylight for a while, the piles of paperwork, those things that might be useful “one day”, the unworn clothes, the tasks hidden at the bottom of your in tray or even your digital clutter has been proven to have a positive effect on your focus, mood, performance and well-being.

    We recognise it can sometimes be difficult to find the motivation and time to take charge of the clutter that is not only on the outside of us but also on the inside.

     

    The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.
    ― Joshua Becker

     

    Yes believe it or not this includes laziness, stubborness, excuses and the big sticks you’ve been using to hit you!

    Baby steps…

    Action will help you to make the changes needed.  Clearing your physical space gives you the sense of clarity and well-being from which you can tackle the larger obstacles in your life. You can make a change.   One of the crazy ideas and thoughts our head gives us when we see this picture of all our mess is that you cannot move it.  Well of course you can’t… not in one go! BUT guess what you can in small bites, small chunks and small steps.  If you struggle enlist a few trusted people to help you, you will be amazed the difference it can make in your life.

    Here’s a starting point:

    Make a list of everything that needs to be done

    Now divide the list into three sections – the sections are ‘Now’, ‘Soon’ and ‘Later’

    Place only five things to be done now in the ‘Now’ List, then divide the rest by importance into the ‘Soon’ and ‘Later’

    Make it a priority to complete the five tasks in the ‘Now’ List

    When you have completed ALL the five in the ‘Now’ List ONLY then can you move another five in from the ‘Soon’ List

    It’s really important to give yourself an understanding and consideration for where you are or for the things that have happened.  When you understand something it can change your life. Clutter come from trauma and negative experiences in our life, be kind to you.

    Marie Kondo in a growing favourite book of ours “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organising”, highlights the importance of decluttering holding a focus on what you would like to keep rather than on what you can get rid of (this mindset has been proven scientifically to induce unhappiness). With this in mind, another good tip when deciding what to keep is to ask yourself two key questions:
    1. Does it spark joy?
    2. Does it provide a service?

    If the answer is no then donate or discard of the items in the most suitable way.

     

     

     

  • Tips for helping you feel good

    You are important…

    To help yourself feel better learn to take time out for you… learn to be happy… 🙂

     

     

     

     

     

  • Three Important Rules for Parenting Teenagers

    Often parents feel overwhelmed with regards to parenting teenagers for many different reasons.  Having been teenagers ourselves and/or parenting our own teenagers we can all relate.  Teenagers are growing adults wanting to find their own way through life. I am sure if you look back to your teen years they may have been difficult, hard or very good. But the most important understanding needed here is your past is not the life of your teenagers.

     

     

     

    Your child is now growing up – give them things to do around the house as this will help them to develop responsibility and a sense of contribution (hopefully you would have already been doing this since they were younger and if not its time to start). Never TELL your teenager to do things, you don’t like being told what to do and they won’t either.  Sit down with them and explain you would like them to contribute within the household, as this will help you all.  You can write a list of all the things that need doing then allow them to choose two or three things.  Make sure you thank them and ask them how often they feel the item they have chosen needs to be done.  Listen to their suggestion – if you need to help them understand it needs to be done more then explain by saying “I feel that may need to be done more, can you see why?”

     Tip – Please do not do the item they have done after them, it may not be done as well as you would, but its important to acknowledge what they are doing. I remember someone telling me that they were at a family gathering and there were many guests all helping out in the kitchen. She asked if help was needed and she was given the carrots to peel and chop. She was very conscious of how to do them as she was unsure how the lady of the house wanted them to be done. She had wondered if she should ask but felt too nervous. Then on completing the task she handed the carrots over and, yes you guessed it, the host was not happy at the way they were done. This memory stayed with her for a long time and in many ways knocked her own confidence, especially when it came to asking people when she was unsure about something. Yes I know its only carrots…

    Tip – Say thank you

    Tip –  If your child isn’t doing what they have chosen then sit down with them and ask them “why” – talk about it even if they choose something different.

    Tip – Remember…choose your words wisely.

     

    When your teenager is frustrated, angry, irritated and moody there will always be a reason why. Learn to really listen to your child – listening is having eye contact and time with them as this will help them to know you are there for them. They may not always want to tell you what is going on with them and there are different approaches to help your teenager. When you develop time to be with them they will generally see that you are there. Explain to them that you can’t help them while they are being the way they are but you do want to help. Do not raise your voice or become frustrated with them. Arguments won’t get any of you anywhere and will only add to the tensions within the family. You may feel that what your teenager is explaining isn’t relevant or right but to them it is… this is why it’s important to learn skills of listening to your child/teen. Listening requires you to connect and have empathy.  This in turn will help your children to develop these skills.

     Tip – Be patient with yourself and your teenager, it takes time to build the connection and skill.

     Tip –  If your child is moody teach them to breathe as you cannot help while they feel that way.

     Tip – Remember, eye contact is crucial as it shows that you are listening.  For all children and especially teenagers it is important to feel listened to.

     Tip – Do not overcompensate – it will come across as patronising and can be too much. Remember discipline is key…firm but fair.

     

    Discipline is important if you have never given discipline when your children were younger you may have a task on your hands. Discipline is important as it gives security to your children just as boundaries do.

    Discipline is important to build respect.  When you have issues placing discipline this can be because of your own childhood issues and restrictions. Often you can find yourself saying ‘I want to give my child everything I didn’t have’, or another common one is ‘I don’t want my child/children to have what I had’.

    Divorce and separation can often affect disciplines and boundaries, in any of these you will find yourself over compensating in some form.  You may also find that you have put a discipline in place and you don’t follow through because you believe it to be easier just for some peace and quiet.

    Tip – When you are starting to introduce discipline it is like anything else – you will need patience and calmness.

    Tip – Sit down with yourself and write down changes you can make and why.  If you have a partner encourage them to do the same. If you and your partner are not coming from the same place this will create an opportunity for your teenager to use you both against each other. After all they are growing up and they want it their way. Agree the approach you want to put in place and how you will tackle it.  Be sure you or you and your partner stick to it.

    Tip – Teenagers are not young children, sit them around the table using eye contact and talk with them, explaining to them why you want them to listen and what you want from them. They may not be okay with what you are asking but this is the moment you need to explain why and what will happen if not.

    Tip – Be disciplined yourself, don’t set a high expectation that is impossible to keep. Don’t change your mind half way through. Be constant in what you say and do. Praise your children, they are learning as you are.

  • Finding your way through the mist of confusion…A Journey to Empowerment

    We often hear people talk about Life being for Living – it can be the simplest thing to do and yet so difficult sometimes. People tell us they never know which way to turn or what it is that they actually need to truly live their lives.

    In an age where we are blessed to have so many choices, options and information at our fingertips for some this can cause confusion.  If you lack clarity and direction in your own life the plethora of choices can be overwhelming.  Social media for example may give a platform for you to easily compare your life against others.  Comparing what you have and what you don’t have will cause you to be against yourself.  Human beings only seek and absorb the evidence that supports the story they are telling themselves. By constantly comparing yourself to others you are  compounding the negative story you are telling yourself…for example ‘I am not enough’, ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I will only be happy when…’ etc.

    Learn to be happy now… in the now… look at what you have and be truly thankful for it.  Practice appreciation.

    One of the fundamental things that is often forgotten is that happiness, passion and desires are not necessarily what other people do, say or think .  When you have self awareness and self understanding you will be your own guide to what will make you feel happy and successful – contented within your life.

    When you truly know yourself, you will understand what it is you want

     

    Tips to help you get started…

    1. Take positive, fulfilling time out for you…smile and appreciate the time you give for yourself
    2. Make a journal and write down every week a few things that you feel grateful for
    3. Make a map of where you are in yourself, and if you use negative words please change them…your first map be honest, then do another map with more positive words.

    Remember you have choices to how you view your life…